What Is The Funniest Thing About Gold?


By SoYouThinkYouCanRant

Jun 15 2009 4:45PM


These are quotes from the two entries in the final week of the “So You Think You Can Rant” contest. The last two finalists were given the topic “What Is The Funniest Thing About Gold?”.

Here is some of what they had to say. Both of our remaining finalists wrote a market poem. To read more, go to and VOTE for your favorite.

Alan Lemerande

I doubt there’s a child in this nation of ours that if quizzed would need to be told
that a leprechaun’s found at each rainbow’s end guarding a pot of gold
Or trusts that Frodo could have conquered Mordor and left Sauron’s great army dead
if into the fires of mighty Mount Doom he’d cast a ring forged of pewter instead.
And the Brothers Grimm, remember them? In telling tales they were not frugal.
Rumpelstiltskin never sat at that wheel spinning straw into shares of Google.
So no great journey must you make to find the irony you seek
No massive ocean must you sail nor climb no mountain peak.
You need only listen to your very own words, little children and stories through time.
Hit songs sung by Neil Young and verses filled with rhyme.
The funniest thing indeed of all is how gold our imagination grips.
Though we carry it no longer in our pockets and purses, we carry it still on our lips.

Read More

John Cassimatis

Greed and Fear,
Gold holds both dear.
These market drivers
leave few survivors.
Consider the irony
of this pursuit of money.
Capitalism’s Motivators
it’s biggest Impostors.
In small amounts, the system thrives.
Run too much and a hell arrives.
Dreams and institutions crumble,
you’d think we’d have grown far more humble.
But these are passions that trick our thoughts.
From within, our fate is wrought.
What I ask, funnier than this?
Like a tragic comedy, this flaw exists.
The same bits from our hearts we steal,
and place them deep in our Achilles heel.

Read More

So You Think You Can Rant


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